Prepare Your Children NOW for the Difficulties and Crises that Will Occur BEFORE the Crises

If we wait until circumstances are difficult enough, there is nothing we can do but suffer and sometimes clean up the mess.

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Website: https://www.realloveparents.com/

Timestamps:
00:00 Living in a flood plain as an example of all the steps it takes to be prepared before a flood.
07:52 We need to prepare ourselves and our children NOW for the crises that will come in their lives.
08:28 Results of not addressing negative behaviors when children are young.
11:25 How parents prepare.
12:29 The importance of preparing now.

Partial transcript:
Whether or not you’re a Bible reader, the story of Noah is a wonderful metaphor. When did Noah build the ark? BEFORE the flood—well before—not as the waters were rising past his knees, at which point it would have been too late.

When do we need to prepare ourselves for the difficulties and crises that WILL occur in our children’s lives—and in our own? BEFORE the crises—as much as possible. If we wait until circumstances are difficult enough, there is nothing we can do but suffer and sometimes clean up the mess.

I’ve been alive long enough now to watch what happens when people wait until the rain is falling fast and long. I have warned many parents that if they didn’t address a particular behavior when the child was FOUR, this child was guaranteed to be very badly affected over the years: perhaps chronic anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and attempts, cutting, personality disorders, and on and on.

Simply put, if we don’t address things while kids are young, often they end up in a living hell—personally, in their careers (or lack thereof), and in whatever relationships they have. And then I’ve watched the parents separate—roughly speaking—into two camps: those who listened to the instructions that could help their child now and long-term, and those who decided that taking action was just “too hard.”

When parents do nothing, their children experience some combination of all the conditions or consequences I just named and many more. We talked about them in the Parenting Training. They become homeless. They are institutionalized after multiple suicide attempts. They drive while drinking or stoned, and die in accidents because their judgment is impaired. They go to prison. They have children of their own and multiply the misery and suffering several-fold. And all this happens because the parents did nothing when their children were THREE to prepare for the floods. Not an alarmist. I’ve seen everything I’ve described many, many times. It’s heartbreaking for everyone.

No matter who you are, or where you live, or how blue the sky might be right now, the rain WILL fall. And at times it will accumulate into streams, rivers, and lakes. And the rising water will begin to make life very difficult for you. You MIGHT survive by moving to higher ground or stacking sandbags, but eventually, the water will reach you, and people will drown. Start building now—an ark, a flood wall, sump pumps, whatever you can.

How? Remember that long list I went through for what was required to prepare for a literal flood? Every parent needs to visualize their own list with their child. You prepare for a flood:
* Every time you’re kind to love a child
* Every time you’re patient
* Every time you read a story
* With each assignment to do a responsible thing
* With each instruction about how to do some task (with loving tone)
* With each instruction about how to be loving to a sibling or peer
* With each touch
* With each patient look and kind tone when they make a mistake
* Every time you apply a consequence when the child is unloving or irresponsible, despite your having repeatedly used words to teach.
* Every time you’re consistent with follow-up and consequences and teaching

Every time you do those things—and many more—you’re building and preparing a child who can be happy in the world. You’re changing the world. Even better, as you do all these things, YOU and THEY are becoming happier right now. Our lives are much more than preparation for floods. We’re here to be happy. To have fun, and we can do that while we’re building and preparing. I had fun WHILE I was shoveling, cutting, carrying, pouring, and building in my backyard. (Easier when boys there for pouring concrete). So can you.

Start building now. Eliminate every obstacle to building—zero tolerance, as we’ve said. Keep going. Don’t stop. You won’t regret all the efforts you make every day—over and over—to love your children and to help them become loving, responsible, and happy

real loveunconditional lovelove